


Chloe's Thoughts

by Antarctic_Echoes



Series: Luciferian Fics (One shots) [17]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:39:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9374825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/pseuds/Antarctic_Echoes
Summary: A companion piece to "The Devil's Thoughts."Chloe reflects on her thoughts and feelings as Lucifer tries to tell her she deserves a better man.  Takes place right at the end of S2x11.A short one-shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Grym](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grym/gifts).



> Dedicated to Grym, for winning the comment bonanza! :D <3
> 
> I originally wrote the Devil's Thoughts because I was so overwhelmed and happy after S2x11 and couldn't let it go. Then Greenleaf and kanshou87 requested a companion piece for Chloe, so here it is. Thank you, Greenleaf and kanshou87!
> 
> Sorry, this hasn't been beta-ed. I was so happy I just wanted to get it out there. All mistakes are mine and I apologize in advance for them.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Lucifer Morningstar and Chloe Decker are owned by Vertigo Comics, DC Comics, Neil Gaiman, Mike Carey, and everyone else involved with the Lucifer TV show and comic books. I own nothing and make no money on this. I merely am borrowing the characters for... uh... writing practice.

 

 

Chloe found Lucifer on a beach in Malibu, staring out at the sea.  He had his jacket slung over his shoulder, and from behind, he looked... sad.  As she trudged through the sand, she thought about the case they had just closed.  After they caught Bert, he had quickly disappeared -- very unusual for him.  She knew this case had affected him deeply, after finding out that none of his lovers had cared for him -- it had only been “just sex.”

Struggling for a light tone, she called out to him.  “Hey, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”  She came up beside him as he turned.  “I tracked your phone’s GPS.”

“Well, here I am.”  He looked away for a moment as he took his jacket off his shoulder, and they stood there for a few seconds in awkward silence.  

Chloe could feel his unease... or was it something more?  He didn’t seem like himself.  She tried to break the ice by joking a little.  “Well, we should wrap up the arrest report, and by that I mean paperwork, not some celebratory drink that you’ll then turn into a moment.”  She gave him a little smile, hoping to see him laugh.

He chuckled only once -- a melancholy sound -- then dropped his eyes and looked away.  “Yes, well, I’ve changed my mind about that, actually.  I realized it would never work out between us.”

She blinked, shocked.  His statement completely caught her offguard, and she struggled to find her equilibrium.  “Really?”

He slipped on his jacket and became all business.  “Yes.  So, from now on, no more attempts at moments.  I’d be honored to, uh, simply continue working by your side... if you’ll have me, of course.”

Chloe couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  It was as if he was shutting a door, and it hurt.  Swallowing hard, she nodded.  “Of course.”

“Good.”  He nodded with her.

“Yeah.”  Trying hard to recover, she said, “It’s not like you to give up, but --”

“Oh no, I haven’t given up.  I had a... an epiphany of sorts.  You deserve someone worthy of you, and that isn’t me.”

Oh god, he thought he wasn’t worthy of her?  No.  No, no, no, no....  She had to dispel that notion right away.

“That’s not what I’ve been saying, Lucifer,” she said firmly.

“I know.  It’s what _I’m_ saying.”  He gazed at her, his face serious, his shoulders slightly slumped as if in defeat.  And his eyes... his eyes were so sad and full of yearning, even though his voice was not.  He looked... heartbroken, even as he tried to smile.  “You deserve someone better because you, Detective, are selfless to a nauseating degree.”

Chloe stared at him as her eyes narrowed slightly, struggling to see what he was trying to say behind his glib comments.  She had the feeling that he was hiding, trying to protect himself from... something.  Or someone.  Her?

“You always put your daughter first, even though the ungrateful urchin does nothing to contribute to the rent.”

She chuckled at that.  He could always make her laugh with his offhand remarks, for she knew he didn’t mean them.  It was his defense mechanism -- he joked about things when life became too serious.  And he was quite serious, she realized.  But... why?

“So...”  He sighed.  “You deserve someone worthy of that grace.  Someone who knows that every crime scene breaks your heart, even though you’d never admit it.”  He glanced away for a moment, his face drenched in sorrow, despite his flippant words.

Chloe realized that _he_ knew how she felt about crime scenes... otherwise he wouldn’t be bringing it up.

“Someone who actually appreciates your impossibly boring middle name.”  He looked away again, and said, almost as an afterthought, “Jane.”

That caught her attention, and a soft smile touched her lips.  No one had ever bothered to ask her for her middle name, and yet he had gone to the trouble of finding out what it was.  In that backhanded way of his, he was saying he appreciated her in so many ways, and it warmed her heart.  

There was a world of hurt in his expression as he studied her face.  “More importantly, Detective, you deserve someone as good as you... because, well, you’re special, and I’m...”  He sighed again, his voice defeated.  “I’m not worth it.”

He looked away, and she studied him for a moment.  It dawned on her that he was trying his best to do what was right for her -- that he was thinking of her needs and putting them before his own.  Warmth flooded her insides, all the way to her fingertips.  She had been developing so many feelings for him lately, but having all of his lovers paraded in front of her had been hard.  Fear that he didn’t feel a thing for her had scared her, driven her to put up a wall to protect her heart.  And yet, he had never brought any of his lovers a hamburger and fries -- only her... and that thought sent butterflies aflutter in her stomach.

His paramours had only wanted him for sex.  How hurt he must have felt to hear that none of them gave a damn about him!  How low was his self esteem that he felt he had to sleep with everyone, just to get a sense of validation?  He knew she had felt something for him that night when they had dinner -- he could have easily tried to press his advantage, convince her of what a catch he was.  And yet... here he was, trying to do what was best for her... not him.

At that moment, she knew without a doubt that Lucifer Morningstar loved her... and she loved him back.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said, stepping close to him.

She saw his surprise when he realized she was right there in front of him, so close they could almost -- almost! -- touch.  Leaning up, she kissed him briefly on the lips.

He was stunned, she could feel it.  He stared at her in wonder with eyes full of fear and yearning, not believing that she could kiss him.

“Detective....”

Caressing his neck, pulling him closer, she kissed him again -- longer, more tenderly this time.  She hoped that it would show him what he meant to her.  He was a good man, a worthy man, and she loved him.

As she pulled away, smiling gently at him, he closed his eyes tightly, his brows furrowed as if with worry.  Did he think this was a dream?  She waited for him to look at her.  When he didn’t, she said, “Lucifer.”

He opened his eyes.  “Detective --”  His voice broke.  He cleared his throat and tried again.  “Detective --”

She could see the struggle in those wonderful, dark eyes of his, so full of yearning, of hope and fear, sadness and love.  It broke her heart.  Had he had so little love in his life that he couldn’t believe that she would feel something for him?

“Shhh,” she whispered, placing a finger on his lips.  “Don't overthink it.  Let’s just enjoy this moment, shall we?”

Pulling him close, she wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes.  She breathed in the scent of him, felt the blazing warmth of his body, heard his heart thump fiercely under her ear.  For a moment he hesitated before wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her tight.  It didn’t hurt -- it felt good, like she was being enveloped in a warm security blanket.  Smiling, she rubbed her cheek against his vest.  This was where she belonged.  Why had it taken them this long to get here?  She felt his cheek press against her hair.  Oh, what a wonderful feeling it was, to be snuggled up next to him!

For a long time they just stood there, happy in each other’s arms, watching the sunlight sparkle against the dancing waves.

 


End file.
